Next Chapter Mates

Why Being a Present Father Doesn’t Mean Saying Yes to Everything By Bretto | Next Chapter Mates One of the hardest lessons I’ve learned as a dad in shared care is this: You can love your kids deeply and still need boundaries. In fact, the two are connected. But most men don’t hear that message early. What they hear instead is a quieter, more dangerous voice: “If I just give a bit more… If I don’t push back… If I stay flexible… If I don’t rock the boat…” Then I’ll be a good da

Life hits hard sometimes. Separation. Step-parenting. Work pressure. Exhaustion. A sense that you’ve lost momentum or direction. When I coached athletes who were mentally cooked or physically burnt out, we didn’t ask them to “push harder.” We reset them. Not with motivation. Not with pressure. With structure. Structure creates momentum. Momentum creates confidence. Confidence creates your comeback. Here’s the exact 30-day athlete-inspired reset I give the athletes I coach....

Most men underestimate this: Recovery isn’t a solo sport. Yes, you can be resilient. es, you can tough it out. Yes, you’ve survived things that would break other people. But long-term recovery - emotionally, mentally, identity-wise - requires connection. And when you go through separation, fatherhood stress, or a major life reset, something happens that most men don’t talk about: Your circle shrinks overnight. You lose mutual friends. People take sides. Your routine changes.

By Bretto and Slacky If there’s one thing elite athletes do better than everyday blokes, it’s this: They stay in their lane - ruthlessly. Not because they’re stubborn. Not because they’re selfish. Not because they don’t care about what others think. But because performance requires focus. And focus requires boundaries. Most men don’t realise this until their life falls apart. Especially in separation. Especially in co-parenting. Especially when emotions are high and everyone

By Bretto & Slacky When people look at Olympians, they see the highlight reel. The podiums. The uniforms. The focused stare before a big match. The moment you walk out into a stadium and feel the whole world watching. What they don’t see is the real story: The choices. The sacrifices. The stuff you give up - every single day - to stay in the game. And the older I get, the more I realise something: Parenting requires the same discipline as elite sport. Step-parenting requires

By Bretto and Slacky Why Nervous System Training Works (and Why Most Men Avoid It) As an athlete, my nervous system was everything. Speed, Decision-making, Composure, Emotional control, Recovery, and under pressure — finals, Olympic qualifiers, big stadiums — the athletes who could regulate their nervous system were the ones who delivered. Everyday blokes need this even more. Because your “pressure moments” happens daily: • dealing with separation • managing co-parenting • h

Today at work, we had a presentation on recovery. One line hit me like a spike across the net: “Recovery is just as important for everyday adults as it is for professional athletes.” That hit home immediately. As a three-time Olympian and Australian Beach Volleyball Coach, I’ve lived that truth. At the elite level, recovery isn’t optional — it’s the difference between performing at your peak or breaking down, mentally or physically. You quickly learn that training hard is

A subscriber story When life takes a turn—like separation or divorce—it’s tempting to look for quick fixes to numb the pain. For many men, that can mean turning to alcohol, drugs, gambling, or even work as a way of coping. The truth is, these habits often provide temporary relief but long-term damage. The good news? There are healthier ways forward. Why Men Are Vulnerable After Separation Separation, whether it be from a romantic partner or a significant relationship, often l

By Pratty 1. The Moment I Realised My Circle Had Shrunk There was a weekend not too long ago when I looked at my phone and realised I hadn’t had a proper chat with a mate in months. Not a quick text, not a meme in a group chat or a quick spray at a mates disc golf score — an actual chat. When I was younger, my weekends were full — basketball on Saturday, basketball on Sunday, a few beers before or after either. There was always a crew around. But over time, those catch-ups tu

By Pratty 1. Pick Up the Phone — Literally It sounds obvious, but I’ve lost count of how many times I’ve thought, “I should call him…” and then let weeks slip by. The easiest way to reconnect is just to reach out. A simple: “Hey mate, been a while. Want to grab a beer?” “Saw this local club game is on this weekend and thought of you — you in?” No pressure, no long messages. Just a nudge. You’d be surprised how many mates are waiting for someone else to make the first move —

By Pratty 1. Lacing Up Again After Years on the Sidelines It had been a long time since I’d laced the Jordans up. The last proper game of basketball I played was before my 17 year old was born — back when recovery was a cold beer and a pub meal, not a week of sore knees and early nights. For years, I told myself I’d get back into it when things settled down . But the truth is, life never really does. There’s always work, kids, money, something. One day, a mate texted: “We’re

By Pratty 1. When Life Feels Like a Three-Ball Juggle Some days it feels like I’m juggling three balls — family, work, and money — and someone keeps tossing in a fourth labelled “mateship.” When I was younger, balance just sort of happened. I’d work enough to pay rent, play basketball on weekends, and hang out and party with mates without thinking twice about it. These days, between kids’ activities, work deadlines, and mortgage payments, that carefree balance feels like a li

By Pratty 1. The Moment I Realised a Mate Was Struggling I’ll never forget the time I noticed one of my footy mates had gone quiet. He wasn’t responding to group texts, stopped showing up to training and games, and just generally seemed… off. I wanted to reach out, but I stalled. I didn’t want to seem like I was prying. I didn’t want to make it weird. So, I said nothing. Weeks went by, and eventually, I finally sent a simple text: “Hey mate, haven’t seen you around. You good?

By Pratty 1. When Life Got Busy and the Mates Drifted Somewhere along the way, between juggling work, family, and just trying to keep my head above water, I realised my circle of mates had shrunk to almost nothing. When I was younger, weekends were all about the boys — basketball on Saturdays, beers after the game, talking rubbish, and giving each other stick. Even into my mid-20s, basketball was my thing, and there was always someone up for a run, a barbecue, or a shootaroun

By Bretto Separation hits hard. Whether you saw it coming or it blindsided you, your world shifts fast. One minute life is on routine autopilot-work, family, sleep, repeat-and the next, everything feels uncertain (and harder) Here’s the truth most blokes never hear: separation isn’t just a legal event - it’s an emotional event. What you do in the first 30 days determines how well you recover, how strong your mental health stays, and how solid your relationship with your kids

By Pratty In life, men face a complex mix of expectations and responsibilities. From managing finances to navigating relationships, decisions can be overwhelming. However, certain rules can provide clarity and direction. In this second part of our series, we present five essential rules that every man should consider adopting. These rules not only support personal growth but also help in building better connections with others and improving overall well-being. 1. Never Go Bro

When life shifts beneath your feet, finding a steady ground can feel like a challenge. I’ve found that team sports offer more than just physical activity—they create a space where connections grow naturally. Have you ever noticed how being part of a team can bring a sense of belonging and purpose? It’s not just about the game; it’s about the people you share it with. Let’s explore why team sports advantages go beyond the scoreboard and how they can help build strong, lasting

By Watty Life has a way of throwing curveballs. One moment you’re cruising along, following the plan you thought you had locked in, and the next - everything flips upside down. For me, it all hit while we were building a house, stretching our finances right to the edge. Then, out of nowhere, my wife developed a rare brain condition. It took three and a half years just to get a diagnosis, and another two before we even began to understand what it meant. In the meantime, she lo

In today's fast-paced world, navigating relationships, personal growth, and self-respect can be challenging for men. Whether you're looking to improve your personal life or enhance your mental well-being, adhering to a few essential rules can make a significant difference. Here are five rules that every man should live by to cultivate success and earn respect. 1. Never Go Back to a Woman Who Cheated Trust is the foundation of any relationship. If someone has broken that trust

When you go through a separation, everything changes. The house feels or is different, routines are different, roles change and suddenly the way you are as a dad shifts too. It’s not just about losing a relationship; it’s about redefining what fatherhood looks like when the picture doesn’t match what you once imagined. I’ll be honest - nothing can really prepare you for that. You can read all the articles, listen to all the advice, but when you’re in it, there’s a rawness tha