Find Your New Normal

By Watty

Life has a way of throwing curveballs. One moment you’re cruising along, following the plan you thought you had locked in, and the next - everything flips upside down.

For me, it all hit while we were building a house, stretching our finances right to the edge. Then, out of nowhere, my wife developed a rare brain condition. It took three and a half years just to get a diagnosis, and another two before we even began to understand what it meant. In the meantime, she lost her job because she couldn’t function, and we were suddenly surviving on one wage. The house almost slipped through our fingers, and income protection? That took four long years of fighting before we saw an outcome.

Quick tip: insurance companies don’t make money by paying out quickly.

At that time in my life, it felt like a constant battle - doctors, banks, insurance companies, and still trying to hold (and advance) down my career. You don’t even notice at first what you’re losing in the process. The relationship suffers, you withdraw and the plans you once had start to feel impossible. Then the dark thoughts creep in. “What if we just sold everything?” “What if I walked away?” “What if I drove off a cliff so I didn’t have to fight anymore?” You begin to accept that the life you thought you had is gone. The plans, the dreams - they’re not coming back. You go through grief, mourning not just what you’ve lost but what you’ll never get to have.

And in the middle of that, I even tore my Achilles. Another blow. It pulled me away from my mates-the one constant that usually kept me grounded.

So, what do you do when life refuses to go back to “normal”? You find your new normal.

And here’s the thing, “normal” doesn’t really exist. Everyone has their own version. Your friends might look like they’re ticking all the boxes-marriage, kids, careers, holidays - but they’ve got their own battles too. What we grow up being told is “the way” isn’t always the way life actually goes, mine certainly didn’t.

I found the trick is to stop clinging to the big, perfect picture and start focusing on what’s right in front of you. The small goals. The small wins. The moments that bring joy even when everything else feels heavy. Dreams are great, but if they’re so big that you’re always chasing them, you risk missing what’s here and now. For me, it was a weekend trip to the beach, a coconut ice cream, and focusing on my rehab. Our new normal became about the present. Small goals. Simple adventures. Staying connected and engaging with mates. Making time for family. Doing what we can with what we have today, instead of mourning what we can’t have tomorrow.

Because the truth is—your “normal” will change again. Maybe when you least expect it. So find it, live it, and enjoy it while you can.