How to Check In on a Mate (Without Making It Awkward)

By Pratty

1. The Moment I Realised a Mate Was Struggling

I’ll never forget the time I noticed one of my footy mates had gone quiet. He wasn’t responding to group texts, stopped showing up to training and games, and just generally seemed… off.

I wanted to reach out, but I stalled. I didn’t want to seem like I was prying. I didn’t want to make it weird. So, I said nothing.

Weeks went by, and eventually, I finally sent a simple text: “Hey mate, haven’t seen you around. You good?”

The reply surprised me: “Thanks for checking in. Been a rough patch, but good to hear from you.”

Sometimes, that small nudge is all it takes.

2. Keep It Casual — Avoid the Heavy Intro

A lot of blokes think checking in means a big, serious conversation. That’s intimidating — for both of you.

The trick? Start casual.

• “Hey mate, grabbing a beer this arvo — want to join?”

• “We’re shooting hoops tonight if you’re keen.”

• “Hey, haven’t heard from you in a while. How’s things wanna go for a kick?”

Notice the difference? No pressure, no heavy questions. Just an invitation or a check-in. That’s usually enough to open the door.

3. Share Something About Yourself Too

One thing I’ve learned: sharing a bit about your own life makes it easier for the other bloke to open up.

When I texted that mate about grabbing a beer after work, I mentioned I’d had a rough week and just needed a break. Suddenly, it wasn’t a “serious talk” — it was just two blokes catching up.

Sometimes, the simple “I’m in the same boat” goes further than advice or judgment ever could.

4. Don’t Expect a Big Confession

Not every check-in leads to a deep heart-to-heart — and that’s fine.

Some mates will respond with a laugh, a short reply, or even nothing. That doesn’t mean your effort failed. Just showing up, sending the message, or making the invite is enough to remind them they’re not alone.

It’s the consistency that matters. A mate who knows someone’s thinking about him every now and then is more likely to open up when the time is right.

5. Use Shared Interests to Make It Easy

Sometimes the best way to check in is not through words at all — it’s through shared activities.

• A Sunday footy kick around

• Shooting hoops at the park

• A casual game of beach cricket

• Online gaming for an hour

These give the chance to be around each other without forcing conversation. And from there, the chat often happens naturally.

6. Don’t Overthink It — Just Reach Out

The biggest barrier is overthinking. We tell ourselves:

• “He’s probably fine.”

• “He might think I’m being nosy.”

• “I’ll wait until the right time.”

Here’s the truth: the right time is now. You don’t need the perfect words, a perfect setting, or even a perfect reason. A simple message, a phone call, or an invite can make a massive difference.

7. Why It Matters

I’ve checked in on mates dozens of times now, and every time, it’s been worth it. Sometimes the bloke opens up immediately. Sometimes he doesn’t. But every time, he knows someone cares.

And honestly, the effort strengthens your own sense of connection too. It reminds you that we’re all in this together — juggling life, work, family, and the random curveballs that come our way.

Checking in doesn’t have to be awkward. It just has to happen.

Next Chapter Mates Real talk. Real mateship. Real life.[Read more: The Ultimate Guide to Reconnecting with Mates After 30]