The Choices That Assist Recovery

By Bretto & Slacky

When people look at Olympians, they see the highlight reel. The podiums. The uniforms. The focused stare before a big match. The moment you walk out into a stadium and feel the whole world watching.

What they don’t see is the real story:

The choices. The sacrifices. The stuff you give up - every single day - to stay in the game.

And the older I get, the more I realise something:

Parenting requires the same discipline as elite sport. Step-parenting requires even more.

Different arena. Same pressure. Same identity work. Same need for commitment, structure, boundaries, and sacrifice.

Let me show you the parallels most blokes never think about.

1. Elite Sport Teaches You One Hard Truth: You Can’t Have Everything

When I was competing, people used to say:

“Must be nice travelling the world!” “You’re living the dream!” “You must love training every day!”

What they never saw were the trade-offs:

• saying no to nights out

• missing birthdays

• skipping holidays

• eating for performance, not pleasure

• choosing rest over fun

• hours of rehab while your mates were at the pub

• constant pressure to perform

• never truly switching off

Every choice had a cost. Every sacrifice kept you aligned with who you said you wanted to be. Parenting is the same. If you want to be a present parent - a stable parent - a grounded parent — you can’t live without sacrifice.

You can’t say:

“I want calm kids” while choosing chaos.

You can’t say: “I want a stable home” while choosing reactive behaviour.

You can’t say: “I want to lead my family”, while choosing avoidance.

In sport and parenting, your choices and actions reveal your priorities - not your words.

2. High Performance Requires Boring Consistency (Parenting Does Too)

People used to assume Olympic athletes are motivated all the time.

Wrong. The truth? High performers show up on the days they don’t feel like it.

That’s what wins medals. That’s what builds identity. That’s what separates amateurs from professionals. It’s the same with parenting and step-parenting.

The boring consistency matters more than the big moments:

• being calm when you want to explode

• showing up when you’re tired 

• choosing routine instead of chaos 

• choosing structure instead of impulse 

• staying steady while the kids fall apart 

• respecting yourself even when your ex is pushing buttons

Motivation is nice. Consistency wins.

3. Athletes Learn to Regulate Under Pressure — Parents Have to Do It Daily

When I look back at my career, the difference between winning and losing wasn’t technical skill. It was emotional composure.

Big crowds. High stakes. Momentum swings. Adrenaline spikes. Public expectation.

You learn to breathe through pressure, or you blow up.

Separation, co-parenting, and step-parenting put you in these “pressure moments” every day:

• the text that triggers you 

• the argument you didn’t want 

• the stepchild meltdown at 8:30 pm 

• the handover that feels tense 

• managing two households 

• feeling judged, misunderstood, or blamed

Your performance skill is an emotional skill.

If you can regulate under pressure, you hold the family steady. If you can’t, the whole system wobbles.

4. Athletes Choose the Long Game — Parents Must Too

In sport, you’re always playing for something bigger:

• the season

• the qualification period 

• the next Olympics 

• the career arc 

• the legacy

That means short-term discomfort is normal.

You train when you’re tired. You rehab when it hurts. You learn when it’s frustrating. You sacrifice fun for focus. Long game thinking creates stability. Parenting demands the same mindset. You’re not just parenting for today.

You’re parenting for:

• your child’s long-term emotional safety 

• the relationship they’ll have with you as adults 

• how secure they feel navigating two homes 

• how they remember this chapter 

• the kind of person you model yourself to be

Short-term comfort often creates long-term consequences.

Short-term discipline often creates long-term connection.

5. The Hardest Lesson: Identity Must Match Behaviour

When I was training for the Olympics, it didn’t matter what I said I wanted.

If my choices didn’t match, coaches saw straight through me.

“I want to be the best” was meaningless if my behaviour didn’t say the same thing.

This applies to fatherhood more than anything else.

You can say:

“I’m a good dad.” “I want to be present.” “I want to be stable.” “I want to be respected.” “I want a calm home.”

But the question is:

Do your choices match?

Not sometimes. Not on good days. Daily.

Identity isn’t declared. Identity is demonstrated.

One steady action at a time.

6. Parenting Is the New Arena - and You’re Still the Athlete

When my professional career ended, it took me years to realise something:

The arena changes. The athlete doesn’t.

You still need:

• discipline 

• rest 

• boundaries 

• recovery

• emotional regulation 

• routines 

• coaching 

• support/team mates

• grounding 

• sacrifice 

• humility 

• vision 

• structure 

• patience

The same tools that built my athletic career now build my relationships, my home, my step-parenting, and my personal stability.

The pressure is different. But the performance matters more.

Final: Your Kids Don’t Need an Olympian - They Need a Man Who Chooses Well

Your children (and step-children) don’t need perfection.

They don’t need superhuman strength.

They don’t need a flawless parent.

They need a man who makes deliberate choices - especially when tired, stressed, overwhelmed, or uncertain.