By Pratty Disclaimer: This post and all associated posts reflect my own experiences navigating separation and the legal processes that came with it. It’s not legal advice — just what I learned along the way. Everyone’s circumstances are different, and if you’re in this stage, I recommend speaking with a qualified family lawyer. The Legal Side of Separation – What I Learned When Life Turned Upside Down When I first separated, I had no idea how much of it would come down to th

By Bretto - Next Chapter Mates Co-Founder Most days, my life feels solid. Not perfect. Not effortless. But good . And that didn’t happen by mistake. It’s because I work bloody hard to keep it that way, especially for my son. I’ve got just over 50% care, and I genuinely, wholeheartedly love it. There’s something about being a dad that forces you into a higher version of yourself. He makes me go the extra mile on a million things I would never do for my own benefit. He brings o

By Pratty Christmas used to be predictable. One tree, one house, one routine. After separation, everything changes — suddenly the one time of year that was supposed to feel warm and familiar becomes a negotiation, a juggling act, and a test of patience. I remember my first separated Christmas… sitting there with a calendar and a sinking feeling in my gut. I didn’t want conflict. I didn’t want to feel robbed. And more than anything, I didn’t want the kids to feel like Christma

Life hits hard sometimes. Separation. Step-parenting. Work pressure. Exhaustion. A sense that you’ve lost momentum or direction. When I coached athletes who were mentally cooked or physically burnt out, we didn’t ask them to “push harder.” We reset them. Not with motivation. Not with pressure. With structure. Structure creates momentum. Momentum creates confidence. Confidence creates your comeback. Here’s the exact 30-day athlete-inspired reset I give the athletes I coach....

Most men underestimate this: Recovery isn’t a solo sport. Yes, you can be resilient. es, you can tough it out. Yes, you’ve survived things that would break other people. But long-term recovery - emotionally, mentally, identity-wise - requires connection. And when you go through separation, fatherhood stress, or a major life reset, something happens that most men don’t talk about: Your circle shrinks overnight. You lose mutual friends. People take sides. Your routine changes.

By Bretto and Slacky If there’s one thing elite athletes do better than everyday blokes, it’s this: They stay in their lane - ruthlessly. Not because they’re stubborn. Not because they’re selfish. Not because they don’t care about what others think. But because performance requires focus. And focus requires boundaries. Most men don’t realise this until their life falls apart. Especially in separation. Especially in co-parenting. Especially when emotions are high and everyone

By Bretto & Slacky When people look at Olympians, they see the highlight reel. The podiums. The uniforms. The focused stare before a big match. The moment you walk out into a stadium and feel the whole world watching. What they don’t see is the real story: The choices. The sacrifices. The stuff you give up - every single day - to stay in the game. And the older I get, the more I realise something: Parenting requires the same discipline as elite sport. Step-parenting requires

By Bretto and Slacky Why Nervous System Training Works (and Why Most Men Avoid It) As an athlete, my nervous system was everything. Speed, Decision-making, Composure, Emotional control, Recovery, and under pressure — finals, Olympic qualifiers, big stadiums — the athletes who could regulate their nervous system were the ones who delivered. Everyday blokes need this even more. Because your “pressure moments” happens daily: • dealing with separation • managing co-parenting • h

Today at work, we had a presentation on recovery. One line hit me like a spike across the net: “Recovery is just as important for everyday adults as it is for professional athletes.” That hit home immediately. As a three-time Olympian and Australian Beach Volleyball Coach, I’ve lived that truth. At the elite level, recovery isn’t optional — it’s the difference between performing at your peak or breaking down, mentally or physically. You quickly learn that training hard is

A subscriber story When life takes a turn—like separation or divorce—it’s tempting to look for quick fixes to numb the pain. For many men, that can mean turning to alcohol, drugs, gambling, or even work as a way of coping. The truth is, these habits often provide temporary relief but long-term damage. The good news? There are healthier ways forward. Why Men Are Vulnerable After Separation Separation, whether it be from a romantic partner or a significant relationship, often l

By Bretto Separation is messy, emotional, and overwhelming. If you’ve read the Numb Bloke, the Angry Bloke, the Lost Bloke, the Guilt-Ridden Dad, and the Lone Wolf, you know the truth: the first 30 days set the trajectory for your recovery. Here’s the hard truth - if you don’t act intentionally now, chaos wins. These 12 survival rules are what I wish I knew day one. They’re practical, raw, and tested. Follow them, and you’ll give yourself a fighting chance to stay steady, pro

By Bretto Separation is brutal on your kids. You know it, I know it. And for men, guilt hits hard. Every decision feels loaded. Missed school pickup? Guilt. Argued with your ex? Guilt. Took a day for yourself? Guilt. I became the Guilt-Ridden Dad fast. And here’s the ugly truth: guilt doesn’t make you a better dad. It paralyses you and steals your ability to parent effectively. I learned the hard way that protecting your kids starts with protecting yourself first. Why Guilt D

By Bretto I thought I could do it all alone. I thought asking for help was weakness. I was the Lone Wolf, trudging through separation like nobody else existed. I quickly realised I was wrong - and the consequences nearly crushed me. Separation isn’t just a personal storm - it’s a complex battlefield of emotions, logistics, parenting, and identity. Going it alone is a fast track to burnout, mistakes, and isolation. And worse, it leaves your kids exposed to chaos you could have

By Bretto I get it. You’re fuming. Angry. Betrayed. Screaming at the walls in your head. Maybe you’ve sent that text you shouldn’t have, snapped at a mate, or shouted at your kids when they didn’t deserve it. I’ve been there. And here’s the brutal truth: letting rage run your separation will burn everything to the ground - your peace, your relationships, your kids, your future. But most blokes don’t hear it straight. They think rage is strength. It’s not. It’s a mask for fear

When separation hit, I felt like I was walking in fog. Everything I thought I knew about life -work, home, routine, family - was gone. I had no roadmap, no guide, no clue. I was the Lost Bloke. And trust me, pretending you know what you’re doing doesn’t help. It just makes the chaos louder. If you’re in that place right now—overwhelmed, confused, and maybe paralysed—I want to tell you something straight: it’s normal, it’s okay, and you can start moving forward today. Why Men

By Bretto Separation hit me like a freight train. One day, life had a rhythm—work, family, weekends, routines—and the next, everything was chaos. I thought I could handle it. I told everyone I was fine. But I wasn’t. I was the Numb Bloke—the guy who buries feelings deep, distracts himself with work, booze, or whatever comes first. And let me tell you… that approach nearly cost me everything. If you’re reading this, chances are you’ve done the same. Maybe you don’t even realis

By Pratty 1. The Moment I Realised My Circle Had Shrunk There was a weekend not too long ago when I looked at my phone and realised I hadn’t had a proper chat with a mate in months. Not a quick text, not a meme in a group chat or a quick spray at a mates disc golf score — an actual chat. When I was younger, my weekends were full — basketball on Saturday, basketball on Sunday, a few beers before or after either. There was always a crew around. But over time, those catch-ups tu

By Pratty 1. Pick Up the Phone — Literally It sounds obvious, but I’ve lost count of how many times I’ve thought, “I should call him…” and then let weeks slip by. The easiest way to reconnect is just to reach out. A simple: “Hey mate, been a while. Want to grab a beer?” “Saw this local club game is on this weekend and thought of you — you in?” No pressure, no long messages. Just a nudge. You’d be surprised how many mates are waiting for someone else to make the first move —

By Pratty 1. Lacing Up Again After Years on the Sidelines It had been a long time since I’d laced the Jordans up. The last proper game of basketball I played was before my 17 year old was born — back when recovery was a cold beer and a pub meal, not a week of sore knees and early nights. For years, I told myself I’d get back into it when things settled down . But the truth is, life never really does. There’s always work, kids, money, something. One day, a mate texted: “We’re

By Pratty 1. When Life Feels Like a Three-Ball Juggle Some days it feels like I’m juggling three balls — family, work, and money — and someone keeps tossing in a fourth labelled “mateship.” When I was younger, balance just sort of happened. I’d work enough to pay rent, play basketball on weekends, and hang out and party with mates without thinking twice about it. These days, between kids’ activities, work deadlines, and mortgage payments, that carefree balance feels like a li