Final Guide: 12 Survival Rules For Men In The First 30 Days

By Bretto

Separation is messy, emotional, and overwhelming. If you’ve read the Numb Bloke, the Angry Bloke, the Lost Bloke, the Guilt-Ridden Dad, and the Lone Wolf, you know the truth: the first 30 days set the trajectory for your recovery.

Here’s the hard truth - if you don’t act intentionally now, chaos wins.

These 12 survival rules are what I wish I knew day one. They’re practical, raw, and tested. Follow them, and you’ll give yourself a fighting chance to stay steady, protect your kids, and start rebuilding.

The 12 Survival Rules

1. Face Reality

Admit the separation happened and stop pretending you’re fine. Numbness is the enemy.

2. Control Your Responses

Anger is normal, but reacting is optional. Pause, breathe, and choose action over reaction.

3. Build Your Core Team

2 mates, a coach or therapist, legal advice, and finance support. Stop going solo.

4. Stabilise Your Routine

Wake, eat, move, sleep. Small wins anchor you when everything else is chaotic.

5. Protect Your Kids

Routines, consistency, presence, and respect. Don’t involve them in adult issues. Ever.

6. Process Emotion Safely

Journal, vent physically, or talk to someone you trust. Dumping on social media is a hell no.

7. Make Practical Moves

Housing, finances, child support, legal consultations—focus on the basics.

8. Own Your Part

Reflect honestly on your role in the relationship breakdown. No excuses, no blame.

9. Limit Alcohol & Avoid Numbing

You need clarity. Booze, scrolling, and distractions delay recovery.

10. Take Small Wins Seriously

One action a day—calls, finances, planning, movement. Consistency beats grand gestures.

11. Build Brotherhood

Engage with men who understand. Not your mate that had a shit break up.

12. Focus on Growth

Pick one habit to improve weekly. Learn, adjust, and keep moving forward.

Links To Continue Your Journey

• The First 30 Days After Separation: The Real Work Men Need To Do

• Separation Survival Series for Men – Start Here

• Previous Blogs:

  • The Numb Bloke

  • The Angry Bloke

  • The Lost Bloke

  • The Guilt-Ridden Dad

  • The Lone Wolf

Final Word

Separation is painful—but it doesn’t have to destroy you. You can be calm, focused, and present for your kids while rebuilding your life. These 12 rules aren’t fancy; they’re practical, raw, and real. Follow them and you’ll be ahead of most men who let the first 30 days slip through their fingers.

Join Next Chapter Mates – a community built for men like you. Brotherhood, tools, accountability, and a path forward.