Life lessons through sport - reconnecting with play.

By Bretto

Why Blokes Need Mates (and How Sport Brings Us Together)

When I was a kid, half my life seemed to revolve around basketball. After school, on weekends, sometimes even during the holidays if we could grab a key to the local court, you’d find me out there with my mates. It wasn’t about trophies or trying to be the next NBL star - we were just mucking around, having a laugh, and enjoying the game. Those weekends weren’t just about improving my jump shot; they were about friendships. And here’s the thing - those friendships are still some of the strongest I’ve got today, decades later.

But as you get older, life changes. Work ramps up, there are bills to pay, kids to look after, and before you know it, months go by without really seeing the mates you used to catch up with regularly. Instead of hanging at the courts, it’s a rushed pint after work, or a quick call while stuck in traffic. Somehow, that easy connection you took for granted as a teenager quietly slips away.

And it’s not just me - it’s a story you’ll hear repeatedly from men of all ages. We drift apart, often without even noticing.

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The Quiet Gap We Don’t Talk About

When people talk about men’s health, it’s usually about diet, exercise, and staying fit. And that stuff is important. But there’s another side that doesn’t get nearly as much attention - connection.

Loneliness and isolation hit men harder than most realise. You might not feel it in your body, but over time it weighs on you. Life starts to feel heavier, stress piles up, and suddenly the day-to-day grind becomes exhausting. Many blokes don’t notice until it’s really taking a toll.

That’s where having mates and having a team makes a massive difference. It’s more than just socialising; it’s about belonging, having support, and finding an outlet for stress without even thinking about it.

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Why Sport Brings Us Back

There’s something about team sports that just works for blokes. Whether it’s basketball, footy, cricket, or even a casual kick in the park, being part of a team gives you purpose and connection. You pull on the same jumper as your mates, have a laugh, share a few ribs, and suddenly you feel like you belong. It’s simple, but it’s powerful.

The best thing? You don’t need to sit down and have a serious conversation about life to reconnect. Some of the best chats I’ve had have been while shooting hoops side by side, sitting on the bench, or sharing a post-game coffee. That side-by-side connection makes it easy to open up without pressure, and that’s gold for mental health.

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Reaching out to a mate

A couple of years ago, I decided to do something that really made me feel great - I invited a work mate who I’d seen needing it to join my team - a team I’d been playing with on and off for 25 years. It wasn’t just about having someone familiar there; it felt good to know we were doing this together. From day one, my mates welcomed him. Nobody cared if he missed a layup or fumbled a pass - we encouraged, included, and quickly added him to the crew.

That feeling of belonging hit him straight away. And it wasn’t just the game itself - it was the mateship. The banter, the encouragement, the laughs - it reminded him of those old basketball days with childhood mates. I remember him calling me afterwards saying he was so happy he couldn’t sleep and his wife could see the difference.

The point is - you’re never too old to make new mates, to have fun, and to be part of a team again.

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Coaching and Bonding with My Son

These days, I also help to coach my son’s basketball team. With week-on, week-off care, our training sessions and Saturday games have become something I genuinely look forward to. Those car rides to and from training aren’t just about getting from A to B - they’re our time. Sometimes we talk about the game, sometimes about school or life, and other times we just sit quietly, enjoying the time together.

It’s taught me something I didn’t expect, sport is as much about connection as it is about competition. Coaching him week in, week out has given me a front-row seat to watch him grow, see his determination, and share in his victories - big or small. Those moments, whether it’s a perfectly executed pass or just a laugh over a funny mistake, are memories I’ll treasure forever.

And it’s reminded me that connection can be simple. It doesn’t have to be deep conversations or heavy emotional work. Side-by-side, on the court or in the car, we’re bonding in ways I didn’t even see at first. I also get to see some of the traits my son got from me (both good and bad) and gives me an opportunity to guide him.

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The Broader Benefits of Team Sport

Basketball, or any team sport, isn’t just about keeping fit or chasing wins. The benefits go far deeper:

• Mateship: Being part of a team creates friendships that can last decades, just like my childhood basketball mates.

• Routine and structure: Training nights or game days give rhythm to your week, something to look forward to.

• Stress relief: Stepping onto the court takes you out of the daily grind, even if it’s just for an hour or two.

• Confidence and achievement: Small wins, like improving a skill or winning a close game, carry over into work and life.

• Family bonds: Coaching and playing with your kids strengthens relationships in ways that aren’t possible elsewhere.

• Fun and play: Adults don’t have enough fun. Team sport brings play back into our lives.

• Health: You are a better parent with some fitness on your side, kicking the ball, rolling around on the ground, it all helps.

And for men, these things are crucial. Team sport isn’t just a hobby - it’s a tool for staying mentally and emotionally healthy.

Check out more sport stories here - https://www.nextchaptermates.com/post/why-team-sports-foster-strong-connections